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28july2009


Thursday, December 17, 2009
follower or not: +ve.
indecisive or not: +ve.
emotional or not: +ve.
insomnia or not: maybe.
confidence lvl: 1.9 out of 10.

energy level: drained 80% plus.
reason: tests & reminder of expectations.
lesson learnt: dun bear in mind other ppl's target for u too much.
resolution inferred: use your aims as a base to build up your confidence.
question to consider: can i really do it?
hesitation: considerably high.
inspiration: where has it gone to?

the 'great' thing that happened today.
just totally spoiled my mood. our day. its just so terrible.
btw, came home after dinner at northpoint.
didnt get my keyboard protector cover, instead sabotaged my chance.
new laptop. right..
i ruined my chance last night.
but just at 4am, my mum msg-ed me, we will discuss about getting a new laptop tmr.
well, i guess the text should be from last night before she slept.
but, somewhat part of me doesn't want to negotiate with her.
because, i know somehow getting a new laptop, will not mean purchasing one which is of equal or better value, comparing my current fujitsu s6520 lifebook.
the other part of me, wants to get a new laptop. not only because i think i want one.
is because i think i will need one. if sth bad happens to my old one. (touch wood, that is)..

_-_-_-_-_(5)twice yesterday. forgot was it twice or thrice.
some parents just cant understand how their kids feel. some.

im tired. but dun know how to feel less so.


@5:53:00 AM
Monday, December 14, 2009
everyone's busy .
last week before nyp's 2weeks holiday at week10 & 11 starts.
(: kinda happy, and upset at the same time.
happy i can relax and chill without worrying too much abt assignment.
upset, as im afraid - if i can cope & catch up & get on track. which i hope, really hope i can.

arcade-ing with usual clique. eating breakfast, meeting at yck mrt unknowingly , with good friends in my class. wow. amazingly happy. (: as i chatted with friends in my class, i jus feel slightly happier.
gaming in sch, slacking - maybe jus enhances the effect. hahas.
btw, i miss kbox, iceskating, rollerblading, cycling, bowling, jubeat'ing, badminton, sentosa, buffet, 18chefs, etc... in school, i tell khairi, eldwin, yihuan & the rest: hey i got craving for sentosa / 18chefs / sth else. they were like, OMG lyn. why u so random de. HAHAS x)`

i hope i will score in this java test. of course not be over confident.
i hope i will score well in law test on thurs. jiayous lyn.
jus do ur very best. the biggest failure, is to not work hard for yourself.
i mean, if its only my parents who expect the best out of me, whats the point for my aims & goals? i really dun wish to care too much abt the scholarship.
i can only treat it as a motivation.
i will work hard in sem2. hope it can push my GPA higher, but if the board wants to withdraw my scholarship, i will face it calmly. at least i can tell myself.
i am happy. i know i have put in my fair share of effort in this sem.
shall continue taking the course, with my head held high, with my confidence not drained away because of external pressure - either my parents, or others around me.
i am contented that i still can have the inspiration to work hard for this course.
& i will really work hard.
they (my parents) & others who dun see me working hard all day, may not be seeing me every day. However, i will work hard. really & hopefully my results can show some evidence.
all the best lyn.`


@9:49:00 PM
Friday, December 11, 2009
school's draining my energy out.
i believe some people in my class, too, feels the same way.
tired, sleepy during lectures. & today, some of us fell sick, down with flu, runny nose.
basil & khairi were sneezing the whole afternoon><`
i think i am getting ill alittle too.
5pm's nw lecture for IS workshop helpers, most of us were ill too..
could it be cos of the workshop? or the food.. hahas.
wonder whats the reason.

today khairi rushed our java project's finalized UI for our team.
THANKS LOTS. besides the GUIs, he helped us with the entity classes & data dictionary too.
thanks khai(:`
btw hope u get well soon. basil too.
eldwin has jalyne with him, hope she takes a shower soon. hahas.

IS0903 class outing - ecp? mr lee shld be able to make it. but see whats the final plan like activities & stuffs. hope kaili, zhiwei, shah, uwais, weilun, & the others can make it.
DETAILS, see class blog. will be updated. current planned date is 23rd Dec. the rest of the details not finalized yet.

[WED] java test.
[THURS] islaw test.
whens nw's.. plus the grp project.
heard there's a few industrial visits for islaw.
java project - what else do we need to do then.
comm skills - next week 10am-11am lesson, 1hr only.
cs2, what other assignments & STUFFS do we need to note. report?

good to stress self.
note to self : dun lose track of studies.
keep studying, as time passes, u will find your revision & time fully utilised.
well , at least not wasted, using computer only.
however, maintain a balance & strike your aim as accurate as possible.
rest when u need to.
work hard for your goals.
i hope i am. i wish i can. i think i may ________.
dun wan to be pessimistic here.
but i'll be realistic. i doubt i can keep my scholarship at the end of sem2.
anyways, good luck to me.
besides, i know the learning process is more important.
though i know my parents will sure nag and may reprimand me,
why cant i ? why am i like that. why is it that things are like that.
whys. how come..
i think i need a day out at ecp, soon. on my own.
maybe i'll head somewhere tmr.
i need to face the nature out there for awhile.
cos its only there when i shout or scream, that no one will care.
- at least not ppl who know me.

question: is Lynette that strong?


@10:58:00 PM
Monday, December 7, 2009
life's been kinda smooth.
except for my demoralising java & maths. but nevertheless, i shall remain positive.
being able to stand against that bad effect, is an achievement worth feeling happy for.
however, i will want to do better.
& shall perservere for better results in sem2, and future terms to come.

jubeat with liping, basil, eldwin & khairi has been fun.
especially today's session at amk vland during the 3hrs lunch break.
cos mr lim isnt conducting any maths lecture. so IS's 2hrs from 1pm to 3pm is free-d[;`

crystal, felicia & vinitha came along with us outside school too~
^^`
they went amk hub's outside cinema&nebo&arcade CARTOON ART place to do one piece.
think is xmas-related. soo cute!~`

jubeat was fun. funny & tiring.
hahas. me, basil, eldwin & liping was challenged to EVANS [EXTREME] at 3rd song.><
i failed but record was saved 'D'. it WAS tough.><>
btw, will limit to 1 game per arcade outing, IN FUTURE!(:

besides, I DO OWE SOMEONE* 100bucks. & promised to pass a 100 $ note to him, after i saved up. i meant it. (;`

btw, tests coming up. its so going to drain my energy, hyperness & enthusiasm away quicker.
><>
do your best!(:`
LAW test on 8step/3qns.
upcoming CYPAPP test.
incoming OOPJV test.
followed by NWKTEC grp assignment.
hmm, COMMS2 - never ending, ICAs. like report, role play, team presentation & stuffs.
OOPPJ, consistent progress?
ohya. CMTH2..goodlucks lo.

tmr sch starts 9am. so i need to be awake like 725am.. nites readers!
smile as your day passes, it jus means a wonderful day has ended, and tmr will be a nice day once more, with fulfilling & great experiences waiting to be unraveled by U.
let things go when u need to. because u know its for the better.


@10:46:00 PM
Friday, December 4, 2009

emcee:
smooth. im happy.
besides, i gathered enough courage to talk infront of them. & managing to bring the message across to them.. i will put in more effort to improve. JIAYOUS!(:`


tests:
about this...
happy & sad at the same time.
happy its over. sad about results.
why sad abt results.. cos i dun score well.
satisfied cos i jus passed. but still know my potential still has a long way to go.
will keep working hard.
but cant deny the demoralising effect of it.

to be updated.
yihuan says i need a break. seriously need one.
& im going for my unwind treatment.(;
ciaos.
ps. im looking forward to dec hols. dec babies o3 class outing(;


1139pm updated`:
jus came home. surprisingly at 10pm im still having icecream at ei8hteen chefs. LOLS.
so late sia.
btw, went jubeat unwind wif eld&khai. basil came play initial D too.
vland, zone x, amk hub, mac, vland. blah x3.
waited for fel & j for dinner. basil left us for home.
so ya. went northpoint. yummy food. nice dinner.
but after i reached my hse bs.
><><>
+ lately not enough sleep.
LIPING. i miss playing jubeat wif u la.
when u got $, can play wif me khai & eld.. (;

im tired. shld be sleeping soon. FYI, time now is 1143pm.


@1:14:00 PM
Monday, November 30, 2009
feeling guilty? or innocent.. its JUST not for me to judge.

maths is driving me stress today.
tmr: crypto's turn. besides, how can i ever forget i wanna to complete IT1535's comm skills discussion forum topic? which is due wed? LOL. the teacher is jus so strict, like training soldiers with stern rules, and she hardly ever makes any effort to appeal or make us feel interested in her lessons. Properly.
dun wan to comment anymore.
maybe its jus me feeling pressure from many external parties.
though my parents aint putting the Pressure on me, but i know deep down inside them, they really hope for the best for me. besides, poly wasnt their 1st choice they have in mind for me.
what else can i say about IT, from their view?(;`
i wanna prove to them, i really can do well. im setting my mindset to 110%, to do well.
maybe its just too much, i may just need an alternate day of unwind activity outside.
maybe i'll get $ from them, to do things i feel relaxed at.
& this time, i shall be generous, but can i? c:`
ps. i cant. i know i cant go hard on that. i know that.

FYI. i need to catch my breath. on certain things. though everything seems fine.
this wed is another busy day.
after 2 hrs of crypto prac which IS0903 will have their crypto test,
another 2hrs of java prac follows.
next coming up will be: 1-3 lunch.. probably with khairi eldwin liping yihuan basil.
then we will head for 3-615 workshop.
i will be going for emcee course as usual with kaiwei.
*reminder to lynette - u got to do your script, rmbr?[;*
then the thing ends 9+pm.
nice. thurs that cs lesson. early morning. my mood's suddenly ruined...

dun wanna talk alot abt the following days.
btw, dec babies in IS0903, advanced happy bday!
Kaili, 2Dec ; Zhiwei, 9Dec ; Shah, 14Dec ; Uwais, 27Dec.


@11:25:00 PM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
today's hypergroup outing is fun. funny. lively. as usual..
hyper group, i missed u guys terribly since the last outing.
kept telling melvin & kasper & andy etc. i missed hanging out with u guys, u all.
finally andy suddenly called me to tell me abt today's bowling.
wow. its really nice to have such an ouitng now.
bonding time after o's. btw, phoebe has the pics.
realised there are stuffs i still still .. (i know it, ask me if u wanna know).

thought i will receive a earful of anxiety by parents cos i reached home at 1130 or so. its not AM.
its close to midnight. is it only now, that they understand i can control my own time?
of course, im happy. that they didnt reprimand me for this late return.
i assured my dad in the msg i texted him. but i still kinda expected a scolding.
as i was walking home, i speeded the pace, because i realised, maybe its when i keep my promise to be home asap, and assure them that i too want to be home asap. & not like the kids who behave like gangsters outside till they 'ton' the night.
i dun wan to not return home for 1 night. unless they allow it, if not for some particularly important valid reason.
people have their views. different people, different views. i said this to myself once.
I know there are people standing on both extremes. i told myself i would take the center.
its ONLY now, that they discover i can takecare of myself, and they can safely trust & have the faith in me. where other secondary school kids had owned long ago.
well, on the bright side, its the start of the trust only. i need to assure them more in order to gain more "freedom" & independence. to show them i can truely takecare of myself.
i got to do more than this. i got to push myself harder, beyond my current comfort zone. way ahead of my boundaries. to let them see for themselves. i can do it. im not the weak girl they seen when i was little.
i got to .... (-.-, i dun wan to go on posting le.)
this is the end for what i wan to say here to my readers. [nights!].


@12:22:00 AM
Friday, November 27, 2009
celeb-ed yunheng's bday at sch mac today.
not too bad + attendance almost full(:`
btw, pics are in fb le. felicia posted le.
thanks girl=)`

btw, things change so fast.
even one can be blurred by the amazing wow-ness of the extreme drastic change.
i can too. besides, its been a few months since i got my lappy.
& i miss flynn.
evelyne's with me now. so no worries^^`



seeing you smile. makes me feel happy too.
hope we wud never lose contact.

new lease of life: i recalled i mentioned this before.
maybe it occured now. again, & im kinda stabilising myself down.

self-reminder: watch round yourself. if signals are given wrongly.
besides, friendships will be affected. thats how i feel about myfriends.
at least with me. hope they are all happy.

im feeling tired. shall off lappy soon.
btw now timing is.. ehh. 321am? yeah.
tmr hari raya haji . no school. WOOHOOS~
can sleep in. but sure kana waken up by parents de.
besides tmr i intend go out study tmr.
nw & law.(;`


@2:00:00 AM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
friday was such a funny morning, then a breezy presentation in the afternoon.
though i was nervous at some parts, but still i managed to pick up steps in the emcee-ing workshop, well & it did worked. so yeah(: i was good? but can be even better.
anyway, after presentation, eld&khai & i, we 3 went amk hub. 1st, we went to virtualland play jubeat. eld watch, khai&i vs(;` so fun~
etc etc etc...laughter, etc. soooo nice.

bus 88 to pasir ris, then 17 to dte find gf. then had dinner. intro-ed her to jubeat.
and its kinda my fault or sth. feel kinda guilty showing her jubeat.

& today when i msged her, she replied. eh i think i addicted le. she must be having lots of fun~
i wanna drink cupwalker. but didnt get choco milk tea when i went cp this morning.
the kfc breakfast/lunch kinda made me have some chemical reaction in my stomach. hahas.
btw, when jubeat again. hee. went j8. walked round. had yami yogurt.
& sth before i went j8, went for dental. & yes. i think next week MAY be the last time im going dentist le. hee(;`
btw, i need time to get used to it too. now only mummy, daddy, angela, khairi, kasper know.
see who else will be the next few to know:D`

almost went marina barrage. changed my mind last min, train-ed back to northpoint food-ing.
then its like, walked round. tried clothes. so fun. so cool. so relaxed. so funny. so cute. so happy. so emo when i reached home. cos the excitement's gone for good. for tonight, that is.
btw now its 1:09am le. haven sleep yet.
today... i had many twists too. be it in mood, or in emotion, or excitement, actions, or perhaps just my thinking. I realised everything's changing kinda quickly. in a way, im scared.
&what am i scared of? -not being able to digest&ensure i cant get it all right in such a short time.


@1:02:00 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
STATUS: im at sch doing project!
MOOD: stressed out.
HUNGER: max..
ENERGY: can still tahan. waiting for dinner!
WATERBOTTLE: empty.
LAPTOP: charging & i think its full.
INTERNET BROWSERS: cms homepage, cms ooppj practical page, windows live hotmail, jtable tutorial.
MOZILLA FIREFOX BROWSERS: facebook home page, facebook pet society, blogger, the 26 sports for YOG 2010, mozilla firefox start page.

____________________________________________________________

just had dinner. ^^`time now is 824pm.
guess how much i ate jus now.
i had 1 cheese sausage prata, then bought another 1 to eat. then had 1 mcchicken.
then had mcflurry~


almost going to finish the GUIs SOON. i hope.
NO NEED HOPE COS IM DONE! 2parts somemore!~ woots._.(:`
half an hour to sch lib close.


ON THE LAST NOTE,
HOPE YCKSS GRAD NIGHT 2009, is having fun now(:`


@6:22:00 PM